HI Michael,
Thank you for your sharing. I can only imagine how you are feeling with all of the challenges you are facing at the moment.
Putting my coaches hat on (I do in the real world
) - the first question I'd ask you is:
Do you believe that you will overcome your challenges?
Heart of hearts.
And secondly:
Have you made a choice to succeed? And by making that choice - asking the first question again -
do you believe you will?
As these are important questions to ask yourself.
As often the stimulus we encounter can be horrifically challenging - like yours - and it therefore can be very easy to focus on that unwittingly.
We focus on the very thing we don't want - and we create more of the same - the thing we don't want.
You can take all the actions under the sun - and it will mean absolutely nothing if accompanying that you have not made the absolute decision and feel certainty that you will succeed.
It's a choice - and it might seem a 'crazy' choice when the chips are down. It's what needs to happen to reverse the downward spiral that we all face at some stage(s) in our lives.
For you Michael I would infact recommend spending time reading (or re-reading if you have already) these books:
Ask & It is Given - Jerry & Esther Hicks
Law of Attraction - Jerry & Esther Hicks.
You have 4 weeks to read them before the start of the challenge - and I believe they are instrumental in helping you move to a right mindset that you (and we all) need to be inorder to be successful.
Look at Ed & Dan - they have both decided to be successful - and so it became.
Ed has a great story he's shared before of his facing bankruptcy etc - but that he decided he would be a millionaire before he was 30 - and he had absolute conviction in achieving that goal - and he did.
For him the book -
Awaken the Giant by Tony Robbins was instrumental for him at that time.
Dan has also shared how his back has been against the wall, and how he turned it around - by being pig headedly determined to - again it was a choice.
Michael - this may/may not be what you want to hear. I certainly empathize - and I know sitting down with you and holding your hand, metaphorically speaking, is not going to assist you with achieving what you want to.
So whilst I can offer lots of actions - well the 30DC will teach you those from Aug 1st.
The very first set of actions is to get in the determined head space to succeed - and I know from personal experience that those books can be instrumental in shifting/cementing you there.
Wishing you all the very best in your endeavours - you WILL succeed when you decide you will
Caro